Neurological Correlates

When I hear the word “Belgium“  I’m immediately suspicious. This  post is about diamonds, guns, blood, unspeakable acts against children, governmental corruption and money.

Belgium (or the Netherlands, actually) is one of the few industrialized nations that doesn’t have to answer a US subpoena for documents in a US lawsuit.  (It isn’t a party to portions of the Hague Convention relating to producing documents relevant to a US lawsuit, here).   That is a relief for those wishing to do dastardly deeds that could be proved with documents — no documents, no proof, natch. Scare up a Belgian domicile and you won’t be troubled by those pesky internal memos in any ensuing civil lawsuit and any Letters Rogatory (the Hague Convention version of a subpoena) will be just a nice billet doux from some litigant.

So, dear blog readers, this Friday Dysfunctional Roundup, my gift to you, is  another conspiracy theory.   Free.  A bargain at twice the price.

Actually, it’s not really a theory, more like an observation:  companies who don’t want to be caught doing something set up shop in Belgium.  (Not just the whole Netherlands Antilles tax thing, either). Here are some interesting businesses found in the wonderful land of waffles:

1.  Diamonds are a Belgian economy’s best friend.   A currency with little paper trail and lots of suave rat-pack type films. According to the Guardian UK,

. . .’This is what puts Belgium on the map,’ said Freddy Hanard, the chief executive of the city’s World Diamond Centre. ‘Every diamond that enters or leaves passes through this office.’That is a lot of gems – four out of five uncut diamonds produced anywhere in the world and more than half of the polished stones travel from Australia, Russia, Canada, India, Botswana and London to Antwerp for buying and selling.. . .

2. And, for the longest time, another great money-maker was international arms. (And the whole colonialization thing is too much to discuss here). So you see, diamonds, guns, and no paper trail. What a swell place.  This is the subject of an  excellent conspiracy theory that I wish I would have thought of.

3.  One US biopharma has a human blood processing facility in Belgium.  I thought this was odd — why pay for blood donors in the US, and then ship the blood to Europe for processing into pooled blood products? But: recall, in the 1980’s, hemophiliacs were dying from AIDS from the drug prepared from human blood (Factor VIII). (I’m not implicating this company in that, I have no idea).  I don’t think anyone would repeat the ’80’s — plasma is heat treated and donors are screened, and blood is tested with the latest diagnostics ,  and the local blood banking and research services are extremely important research areas and for humanitarian good. . .  but where recombinant clotting factors are available, what’s up with using plasma derived clotting factors? Again, I don’t know, I’m asking, and I wish some smart investigative journalist would look into this.

4. The child rapist/murderer/porn/trafficker busted in Belgium a while ago was thought to be linked to the elite and powerful worldwide; the most horrific of the unspeakable was rumored to be ordered up by those who paid for it. This was never proved. At first,  Belgian authorities bungled the investigation. Then things got really bizarre: the chief prosecutor killed himself. Or so they said.  Ultimately the whole tragedy was material in uncovering incompetency or worse in the Belgian government. This later resulted in Belgium adopting anarchy as a governmental policy. Things seem to have calmed down somewhat.

5.  Fortis, the Belgian insurance giant, went broke, was bailed out, and now shareholders are rebelling against the Belgian government who owns it. Belgium’s PM proffered his resigned and the Fortis CEO resigned.

6.  Not at all indicative of anything, but in the news, an extremely troubled 18 year old Belgian woman had 56 stars tattooed on her face recently, apparently in a tragic case of tattoo-remorse, lied about her role in it.  (Tattoo removal technology is improving, so perhaps she can come away relatively unscathed.)

Now, don’t get me wrong. Belgium is a wonderful place to visit.  They just opened up a Goldfish Hotel for people to drop off their goldfish before they go on a trip. And they opened up a new Magritte museum.  Seriously, some of my best friends are Belgian.  To do my part in rehabilitating Belgium’s image, here’s a recipe for delushious Belgian Waffles from Antwerp Tourist Guide:

(The secret is to use sparkling mineral water to make the waffles light and fluffy)

Belgium waffle recipe : Brussels Waffles

Tools You’ll Need for a Belgium waffle recipe.

• Iron Waffle maker
• measuring cup and spoons
• whisk or hand mixer
• small sauce pan
• large mixing bowl and spoon
• heat safe spatula

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 oz of yeast (40 gram)
• 1 pint of tepid sparkling mineral water (4 dl)
• 1 lb of flour (500 gram)
• a pinch of salt
• 1 pint of tepid milk
• 8 eggs
• 1/2 lb of melted butter

Directions:
• Dissolve the yeast in tepid water.
• Sift the flour into a bowl and make a hole in the middle.
• Mix the dissolved yeast slowly with the flour, add the salt and the milk.
• Add the egg yolks.
• Whisk the egg whites and scoop them carefully with a slice through the tough.
• Cover the dough and leave it to rise until its volume has doubled (about 15 to 20 minutes).
• Use the oil to grease the waffle iron (which should be very hot) so your waffles don’t stick to it and pour the dough in it.
• Bake the until they turn golden brown.
Serve with butter and vanillated sugar or powdered sugar.

You need a bigger waffle iron for this variant. The light structure is due to the use of sparkling water.